Addresses the emotional side — some homeowners feel guilty about tapping the equity they worked hard to build. The reality is that your home equity is a resource you earned, and using it to live more comfortably or reduce financial stress in retirement is a legitimate and common choice.
Video transcript
Hi everybody, good morning. This is Miguel Vazquez, a reverse mortgage specialist here in Los Angeles — more specifically in Downey, California. Thank you so much for taking the time to watch this video.
The theme I wanted to talk about today is reverse mortgages and the emotion of guilt around getting one. I see so many of my clients struggle with the guilt of getting a reverse mortgage. They feel conflicted, they get stressed, and it weighs heavy on a lot of them. So I wanted to talk about that and shed some light on how I think about that feeling.
First of all, it's a very common feeling. Many of my clients tell me: 'I've worked all my life to pay off my home, to build equity, to grow some wealth so I can leave it to my children and grandchildren. And now that I'm thinking about a reverse mortgage, I feel like maybe my children believe I'm taking away their inheritance.'
Those feelings are valid. In fact, feeling guilty or conflicted is a reflection of how much you love and care about your family — you want to leave them something. My own mom struggled with that same guilt. She would say, 'I don't know if I want to do this reverse mortgage, because then what am I going to leave you kids?' I remember telling her, 'Look, Mom — you already gave us life. That in itself is an amazing gift. Don't worry about leaving us an inheritance. Just take care of yourself. If you want to get a reverse mortgage, move forward with it.'
So this feeling, as personal as it is, is actually universal. Many of my clients feel the same emotion, and I wanted to bring awareness to the fact that you are not the only one feeling this stress.
But I don't think it has to be either-or. I think it can be both. You worked hard to pay off your home so it could help your children and grandchildren — but also so it could take care of you. If you have medical bills or other expenses, you need to address those too. And if a reverse mortgage helps you pay them off, and even enjoy life a little and live with less stress, I think that's valid as well.
We work all our lives, and in the end we all end up in the same place. So I don't think it's a bad thing to also enjoy life a little. If a reverse mortgage lets you visit a relative — an uncle, a sister, a brother you haven't seen in years — and make those memories, that matters.
Using a reverse mortgage doesn't mean you completely eliminate leaving something to your children or grandchildren. It can be both. If you're in a reverse mortgage and don't have to worry about a monthly mortgage payment, you may have more freed-up monthly income that you can use to help yourself and your family.
And at the end of the day, when you do pass away, your heirs — children, grandchildren, friends, whoever you leave the home to — still inherit it. Yes, it will have less equity than if you had never gotten a reverse mortgage, but it also served its purpose: to help you live with less stress, enjoy life, and pay off medical bills and other expenses.
When you pass away, your family still inherits the house and they keep their options:
• They can sell it, pay off the reverse mortgage balance from the proceeds, and keep whatever is left.
• Or they can keep the home, refinance into a regular loan to pay off the reverse mortgage, and even rent it out — using the rental income to cover the new mortgage.
So it can be a balanced decision. Talk to your family — your children — and share this concern, this worry about guilt and about not leaving them anything. Get their feedback and decide together what's best for you and your family.
I hope this video shed some light: if you're feeling guilt around a reverse mortgage, it's very normal. You're not the only one, and it's a reflection of how much you love your family.
If you have any questions or concerns, or you'd like to understand how a reverse mortgage works, feel free to reach out to me directly at 562-881-9811. I'm happy to speak with you and your family, answer your questions, and help you make the best decision for yourselves. Thank you so much for watching, and have a great day.